This week is National Infertility Week, and one woman from Chicago’s Lincoln Square neighborhood wanted to give back after science helped her grow her own family.
Amanda Nelson is now serving as a gestational surrogate — carrying a child who is not genetically hers for people she didn’t know.
Nelson knows well the struggle that roughly one in six people have when trying to conceive. She herself now has a song and dance of chaos and cuteness with her two boys, but her journey to the delivery room was harder than most.
“Getting negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test,” Nelson said.
Then came lots of lab work and numerous needle jabs.
“Just a lot of devastation and waiting,” Nelson said. “It can really feel excruciating.”
But it worked. Embryos created through in vitro fertilization, or IVF, became sons Elliott and Jonah.
“It was worth every minute of waiting,” said Nelson. “Every shot, every penny we spent — just worth it.”
Nelson’s struggle to become a parent inspired her to become a doula — someone who helps other women through the birthing process. She also decided to become a gestational surrogate — and had to explain to her boys that the baby she is now carrying will not be their brother.
“I’m so grateful that I was able to do this myself, and if I can be the piece of the puzzle that gives someone else the ability to grow their family, you know, I want to be it,” Nelson said. “I want to do that.”
Brownstone Surrogacy out of the Upper West Side of Manhattan paired up Nelson in Chicago with the couple in New Jersey. Jarret Zafran founded Brownstone Surrogacy after using surrogates to create his own family.
“Our daughters know their names, and know their stories,” he said.
It was a happy ending that Zafran explained usually requires overcoming legal, financial, and medical hurdles.
“It’s really difficult to qualify to be a surrogate,” Zafran said.
In general, a woman would need to be between 21 and 42 years old, have a body mass index between 18 and 32, and have a track record of full-term, uncomplicated pregnancies.
“Fewer than 5% of applicants are typically qualified to do this,” Zafran said. “The estimates are that for every qualified surrogate, there’s about three to 10 intended parents waiting to match with a surrogate.”
It took about a year for Nelson to match with the parents for whom she’s now carrying.
“I just felt a really good connection when we did — we met initially on Zoom,” she said.
The parents recently visited for 20-week anatomy scan.
“I just love seeing the joy and kind of the wonder on their faces,” Nelson said.
Brownstone Surrogacy pays surrogates between $60,000 and $75,000. Nelson said money is not her primary motivator, but she believes she deserves to be compensated because of the commitments that come with being pregnant — like all the doctors’ appointments, delivery, and recovery.
